operation harelip BJ is a go
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
