I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
