it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
