she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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