Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
