idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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