we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
