Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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