redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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