come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
