It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
