i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
