DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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