He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
