ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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