Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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