hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
