brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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