I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
he puts the penis in happiness.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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