I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
