Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
