Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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