Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
