you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
