i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
