I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
