Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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