I wanna bring you to show and tell
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
