I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We have started to decorate penises.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
