Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
