i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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