you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
