the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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