Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
be right there i have to get my cape
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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