Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
