I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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