He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
