He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
