I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
