Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I am one with the molecules
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
