i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
