So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
