he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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