I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
