that's an acceptable place to lick
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I will pee on everything he values.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
