Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
