Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
