Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
