There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and she was petting her beer can
We got so high we made milksteak
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
