Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
