Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
