So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are we still banned from the library?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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